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Ladies,Ladies,Ladies,now Good Ole Truth Speaker Uncle Cleephus is low on tit pics,so if any of you have a webcam and a pair of tits please do send me a picture of your happy sacks.
NIGGERS NEED NOT BOTHER
Whats the difference between a Nigger and a mackerel? One's dirty,smelly and slimy the other's a fish
A Nigger walks into a bar with a gorgeous parrot on his shoulder..."Wow" said the barman...."where did you get that?" "Africa" says the parrot
Why do Nigger women wear High Heeled shoes? So their knuckles dont scrape the floor
Whats the difference between a Nigger Woman and an Elephant? A Black Dress and 50lbs
Why Do Niggers wear white gloves? So they dont bite off their fingers when eating chicken
What do Niggers and Ejaculate have in common? Only 1 in 1Million work
Why did the Nigger Run when his girlfriend offered him Oral sex? He thought she was giving him a Job
Eight words you never want to hear?.... Allo Darr foo ah beez yo noo nayburr
What is the New York State motto? Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a nigger in Central park."
What does cotton have in common with noses? Niggers are good at picking both.
A ship sinks and the only survivors are a Russian, a Jamaican, a skinhead and a nigger. At sea for days, they finally come within sight of land. The Russian opens a hidden bottle of Stoli vodka, takes one swig and throws the remainder of the bottle into the water much to the other passangers dismay. The Russian explains that where he comes from, there is plenty of Stoli, it is worth nothing and means nothing. The Jamaican then proceeds to light a huge reefer, takes one hit, and then throw the remainder to sea explaining, 'Mon, in my country we have plenty of marijuana, it is worth nothing, means nothing.' So then the White man from New Jersey throws the nigger into the water!
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor
A nigger family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family because both parents were at work and the kids were in school
There's three guys sitting around a campfire; a yuppie,a Nigger and a cowboy. The yuppie is drinking Michelob, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "This is the Life!" The Nigger is drinking Miller, jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "Taste great!" The cowboy is drinking Old Milwaukee, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the Nigger in the head and says, "This is the way it was meant to be!!"
There's a nigger, a Canadian and an American on top of one of the sears towers. The American says to the nigger, "I bet you I can jump off of here and hit the wind current just right - floating softly to the ground." The nigger looks amazed at the American. "I dont be leave it sucka, ya fuckin wit me aint ya?" the nigger says. So the American says, "Ok, Ill prove it to you." The American leaps off the building and floats all the way down. Once down, he runs all the way up the stairs to the Canadian and the nigger. "See, I told ya nigger... now you give it a try." "Otay," the nigger says as he leaps off the building. "SPLAT!" the nigger is splattered all over the side walk. The Canadian looks over at the American and says "You know,sometimes you can be a real cunt Superman."
What's a Nigger Mermaid? A Carp with tits
A Nigger lady gets on a bus with her baby and puts the bus fee in the cup. The bus driver looks at the lady and says "that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!" The Nigger gets mad and storms to the back of the bus and sits down. She then tells the man beside her "the bus driver just insulted me and i am very offended!" The man replies, "you shouldnt take that, go give him a piece of your mind!" The Nigger says, "you know, i think i will." Then the man says, "you go give him a piece of your mind, i'll hold your monkey."
A Negro's body was found on the outskirts of a small Mississippi town. The victim had been bound hand and foot, stabbed seventeen times, and had six bullet wounds in his body. "What's your verdict, sheriff?" asked a reporter. "Worst case of suicide I ever saw!" replied the lawman.
A Negro civil-rights worker disappeared from a deep Southern town after bringing about registration of large numbers of Negroes. When he failed to show up, it was decided he had been killed and a search was begun. Some days later the searchers located his body at the bottom of a river. Upon retrieving his body they noticed that he was tied and bound with chains and locks. "Look at that damned nigger," said the Sheriff. "He tried to swim across the river with all them chains he stole from the hardware store."
Before his daring escape from prison, a black militant had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the country, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made.
The next day the bureau received a teletype reply from a small Southern town:
PICTURES RECEIVED... ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD......WHILE RESISTING ARREST
Two guys work together - a black guy and a white guy. The black guy notices that the white guy always came to work with a smile on his face. He asks him "Man, how come you come to work with a smile on your face every day?" The white guy replied "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work." Amazed the black guy asks him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's easy," the white guy said. "I just tell her the same poem when I wake up: Blondie, Blondie, eyes so blue, I just love waking up and making love to you!" Well, determined the black guy decides to take his friends advice. The next day the black guy shows up to work all beat to hell - black eyes, broken nose, fat lip... the works. The white guy says, "Man, what happened to you???" The black guy says "I don't know, I went home and tried your advice." "Well, what poem did you tell your wife?" the white guy asked. The black guy replied: "Nappy head, Nappy head, eyes like a frog, If I could roll your fat ass over, I'd do you like a dog!"
A Chinese man walks into a bar and after seeing that the bartender is black shouts "Gimme a jigger Nigger". The black man tells him that it wasn't a nice thing to say, and how would he like the same treatment. The Chinese man explains he wouldn't give a shit, so the black man says "Okay, you get behind the bar and we'll try it again." The Chinese man gets behind the bar and the nigger goes outside. After a few seconds the black man comes in and says, "Gimme a drink, Chink". The Chinese man stares at him and says "Fuck off boy, we don't serve niggers in here!"
What do you call 3 Niggers in a Jacuzzi? Gorillas in the mist
Why do Nigger Women have difficulty pissing in the morning? Have you ever tried to open a toasted cheese sandwich
Whats the only thing wrong with a Cadillac and 5 niggers going over a cliff? The caddy holds 6
Whats the difference between A Nigger Woman and a freezer? The freezer doesnt fart when you pull the meat out
Why do Nigger Women fart after they piss? They cant shake it so they blow dry it
I LOVE THIS ONE
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HOW DO YOU KILL A NIGGER WHEN IT IS DRINKING? Slam down the toilet seat
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I Wouldnt be able to bring you all these truths without help so.......
Many thanks to:-
MadDameJah,Johy Ringo,Bugszee641,BlkBruthaMan,Evil Dwarf and many many others that i am too stoned to recall......Thanks
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What do you get when you breed an Octopus and a Nigger? Something Ugly but it sure can pick cotton
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A Jew, a Hindu and a nigger were driving in the country one night when their car broke down. They walked to a nearby farm house and asked if they could spend the night. The farmer told them yes, but he only had two extra beds but he had a clean barn full of fresh straw and one of them would have to spend the night there.
The Jew said he had spent several years on a kibutz in Israel and sleeping in a barn wouldn't bother him. Out to the barn goes the Jew and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Jew. He said he couldn't sleep in the barn because there was a pig in the barn and his religion forbid it.
The Hindu said no problem, he had grown up in Bombay and he wouldn't have a problem sleeping in a clean barn with a pig. Out to the barn goes the Hindu and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Hindu. He said he couldn't sleep in the barn because there was a cow in the barn and his religion forbid it.
The nigger said no problem, he had grown up in south L.A. and there was no way a pig or a cow was going to keep him from a good nights sleep. Out to the barn goes the nigger and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the pig and the cow.
Why wouldn't the nigger let his daughter marry a Mexican?
He figured the kids would grow up too lazy to steal.
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